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vanessa

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[27 Feb 2009|12:47pm]
new journal.

morphinepunch. add me.
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stolen from a friend of mine- she has told everyone to post it and spread the word. [18 May 2008|03:11pm]
Dear folks,
I'm writing you because you are well-connected with our LGBT community
organizations. A catastrophic thing has just happened to the community
on the federal level, there's still time to stop it, and most folks in
the community seem not to know.

A few days ago the American Psychiatric Association announced who
would write the new revision of the DSMV, the manual of mental
disorders that controls the diagnosis and treatment of gender and
sexual difference. The "expert" just named to chair the revisions on
sexuality and gender is Kenneth Zucker. Zucker is the major remaining
proponent of "reparative therapy" to "cure" kids they think are LGBT.

If the APA doesn't change the committee, the next edition of the DSMV
will probably prescribe reparative therapies as recommended
"treatment" for LGBT people. Zucker's named Ray Blanchard to the work
group that will rewrite Gender Identity Disorder.

Here's the deal: Blanchard is connected with ex-gay organizations; his
core theory is that transpeople are "really" sex offenders or
homosexuals, and homosexuals are mentally ill. Zucker's stated purpose
for reparative therapy is that, without it, gay kids will grow up into
transsexuals. So any version of Gender Identity Disorder the two of
them write will not only put transpeople out of medical help and into
conversion therapy, but also redefine GID from an independent
diagnosis to a kind of homosexuality.

In other words, their goal is to put homosexuality back in the DSMV as
a mental illness. We'd be back where we were before 1973. I hoped I'd
never have to live with this crap again, but here we are in the Stone
Age. These are the folks that "cure" boys who play with dolls and
girls who like sports. The APA just gave these wackos the authority to
define American gays and lesbians as mentally ill. They're likely to
use it.

We have to get the word out. If the community protests loudly and
fast, the APA will probably have to remove Zucker and Blanchard. I am
terrified it won't happen because it'll get tagged as a "trans issue."
The HRC, the Advocate and so on have no love lost on transpeople, but
transpeople don't have the pull with the APA.

Only the gay and lesbian communities can apply the necessary pressure.
It's use it or lose it. Once your identity has been defined as a
mental illness your political clout falls to zero. Folks in the know
say the appointment was so unexpected that it's likely most APA
leadership doesn't really understand what they just did.

Zucker and Blanchard are considered fringe--Zucker's clinic in Toronto
has been defunded by the Canadian government. But they're famous for
their political skills, taking over academic forums and then using
them to set themselves up as "recognized experts." I think if we call
the APA on it right away, they'll fold and replace them.

Here's a link to more info: http://www.bilerico.com/2008/05/uh_oh.php

Please help. Spread the word to everyone you know. Any contacts you
have with LGBT political advocacy and media organizations, please
light a fire with them to pressure the APA to remove Zucker and
Blanchard from the DSMV committee. It matters for all of us
3 comments|post comment

:) [19 Nov 2007|12:34am]
today is my and tyler's one year anniversary. :)

i finally know what love is.

i love tyler amidon.
5 comments|post comment

[15 Oct 2007|07:00pm]
a night at gridley's house.

this picture makes me happy. friday night was so much fun.



i love these boys. i miss upstate.
2 comments|post comment

As the good times seem to come to an end, you realize there are just more good times to come. [11 May 2007|01:53am]
This school year has given me a new outlook on life. I started off first semester hating school just like I did first semester last year. Then I looked around and realized that I was surrounded by amazing people that would be there for me if I ever really needed them to be. And they came through for me as time passed. I started having so much fun, and it never stopped. I started hanging out with Tyler. I knew from the moment I met him he was special. He was different. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. Not just as a boyfriend, but as a person, as a friend. I met some amazing people through him. Gridley, Trav, Lush, Zabba...etc. And yes, I might not ever see them again, or we might stay in touch. But whatever happens in the future, I'll always remember the awesome times we all shared. Snowmobiling and doing donuts in Waterville. Crazy nights at the Breakaway and Gridley's house. Gridley's amazing parents (my main man pete!!). The nights at the dorms when it was just us, and it seemed like nothing else mattered. Crazy nights at the shows and Matty's house. I will never forget them. Maybe it really is time to move on, and I think I'm finally ok with that. But I'll never forget Tyler. He'll always hold a special place in my heart. And all that I can tell him now is that i will always be here to pick him up when he falls, a shoulder to lean on. And I think that shows me how much I grew up this year. Because that is truly caring about someone. Knowing that you cannot be together now, or maybe ever, but really just wanting them to be happy and offerring help. You cant rush people in to decisions about their lives, you cant force them to help themselves. You can only hope that they figure out their life on their own. You can only hope they wont hurt themselves or anyone else, and that in the end, they are truly happy. No matter how much it hurts you, you have to move on and be strong. Keep in touch if you can and they want to, but always hold them close to your heart and remember the good times. Because as the cliche saying goes, what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. I grew up this year. I know what real, true love is. I know what real, true friendships are. I cherish the people I have in my life, the people I have met this year. In some way shape or form, they have all helped me get to know myself better, made me stronger, made me happier, and more fullfilled. And I thank every single one of them, especially Tyler. He taught me that I am beautiful, inside and out. He taught me that it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks. It's all about how you feel about yourself and the people you keep close to you. Sometimes you have to do you and not worry about anyone else. And I know that even though my time in Utica is coming to an end, I will never forget my experiences here. And I know I have amazing family and friends to go home to. People that will be there for me when I hit rock bottom. That will party it up with me, will laugh at stupid things with me, and will just be good people to have in my life. I love my mom, dad, and brother more than anything in this world. I am so blessed to have them. I am so blessed to have my whole family. Nana, pop, seany, peggy, grandma rose, pop bob, rina, ed, blake, alec, michelle, jo, rylee marie, joey, mara, and isabella. and all of my extended family. they are the most amazing people i have ever met and i love them all with all of my heart. i have become so close with my mother this year and i couldnt ask for anything better. my father and i are so much alike and we never got along when i was in high school, and now i know i can turn to him for anything. and my little brother is such an amazing kid. i wouldnt want any other brother in the world. in spite of the stress of school and loosing my relationship with tyler, i really, for the first time in my life, truly love my life and cherish the fact that i am alive. because everyday you just wake up stronger and learn. learn from your mistakes, learn from other people's mistakes and grow.

i love my life
4 comments|post comment

[09 Jan 2007|12:41am]
i love my tyler more than anything. the end.
3 comments|post comment

heres a fucking update. [28 Nov 2006|06:25pm]
schools ok. lots of work. i just cant wait for christmas. hopefully tyler will have his new car by then so he can come visit me for a week over break, because there is no way i can deal with not seeing him for a month. if worst comes to worst, sarah will drive down, pick him up, pick christian up in lake george and come down. i love them. especially tyler. i never thought i'd really fall in love. mark.. hahaha that was not love. he keeps calling and texting me. asking if i ever think about him and if i miss him. and i honestly dont. hes one of the worst things that ever happened to me. he used to beat the shit out of me. i dont get him. i dont get how all of a sudden he pretends like he cares. im so happy i met tyler. hes so amazing. i cant even deal with it. he gives me butterflies everytime i even think about him. i honestly love him so much.

other note...

nikki has been texting me... i kinda feel bad, i mean, she was my best friend. but i just cant deal with her attitude sometimes. i should call biscuit and ask him what the deal is. i dunno.....
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Join... [05 Oct 2005|08:35pm]
Because I said so.

http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=__too_cute__
19 comments|post comment

fuck beacon kids, and fuck lourdes kids too. [12 Apr 2005|09:48pm]
Fuck all these Beacon kids.

I hate all these fucking skank ass beacon kids who think they are so fucking cool. you run around saying you throw great parties, have the best friends and are drama free, and its all bullshit. guess what, no one thats not from beacon gives a shit! they all think you're lame asses. you all talk shit about your so called friends and you create drama to feel special. youre all fucking pathetic kids who wont survive once you graduate, if you even make it that far. so do me a favor, pull your hot topic studded belts out of your asses, wipe the eye liner out of your eyes, and rip that damn ring out of your face and get a fucking life. kthanks.

oh ps, this goes for all the lame ass lourdes kids too.
14 comments|post comment

friends only. [13 Jan 2005|07:51pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Hi.

my name is vanessa. i'm 17 (5.28.87) & i live in new york, about 1
hour north of new york city. i love art, especially photography.
i'm going to college for it in the fall. i'm currently a senior
at our lady of lourdes high school, i transferred there last year from beacon high. i hate high school. i like more mature people. i like to party, a lot. i never miss an opportunity to have fun, ever.


loves; mark, kmfdm, a perfect circle, rammstein, nin, pig, fly, vnv nation, 16 volt, kidney thieves, apoptygma berzerk, pantera, lucia, pulp fiction, reservoir dogs, natural born killers, a clockwork orange, the crow(original), donnie darko, researching school violence, reb, vodka, kibbz, partying, sleep.


hates;
way too much to list.


visual;




Comment if you want to be added. I'm giving you a fair warning. If you say something completely ignorant, bigoted, or just plain stupid, I will not be nice to you. You'll get just what you deserve, which might be a nice, long, nasty comment. Or perhaps a smack in the face, if I know you personally. If you go to Lourdes, and are not on this list, and I have not told you otherwise, I hate you. Don't talk to me. You've been warned. Proceed to comment, if you still desire.



______marvelous


Join sxiswt_beauties.

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